Pregnancy Jokes

smilie

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q : My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant..

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word ‘child support payment’ means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Do you have any pregnancy funnies to add?
Feel free to share in the comments!
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